Friday, December 17, 2010

Where have I been?


Ay, ay, ay Chihuahua...where have I been and why have I not been blogging? One of my last posts had to do with my abuelita's death and that put me in a black hole. I didn't volunteer at school, I wasn't volunteering in Girl Scouts and I was living day to day trying to get through my class.

As some of you may know, I am in school (IBSP) studying to become a massage therapist. I am in the middle of taking a human energy class which deals with the energy that travels through our body. You know you have it people, because how many times have you given yourself a "toque" (and I don't mean the mind enhancing toque, sin verguenzas) walking across that carpet?

Well this class did an instruction of how our energy/power is taken away from us when we talk bad about ourselves. When we self-criticize we take our strength away. I am guilty of it. I tend to knock myself down with humor (i.e. girl, you know my big butt can't fit in skinny jeans). Our instructor Tracy showed us what happens. We stood up with one arm out to the side. Our goal was to not let the other person push your arm down. The second step dealt with a self-criticism. My sentence: I didn't see myself worthy to put myself on my own priority list. Needless to say, everyone's needs (husband, kids, family) came first. This is why I am still trying to go see Diane so she can wax my brows back to a "Maria Felix shape" and get rid of the "Cantinflas bigotes."
What happened when I repeated this sentence as my fellow classmate pushed down on my arm? She pushed it down. Que triste. The third step was to come up with a mantra to repeat to myself for one week. It is "I will put myself as priority so I can be the best that I can be." How is it working? Not bad. I still haven't made the appointment with Diane but it's financial not time-wise. I feel better and I do make some time for myself everyday (drink coffee work on sudoku, sit on the couch and watch the kids play instead of cleaning)
Another lesson, instead of being angry and thinking of 101 ways you can torture the person who pissed you off, think and say "_____ (fill in name): I am sorry. Thank you and I love you." It really works.

There have been some obstacles this week and I look at it as a shift, a transformation into something better. It's like the juicy catepillar from "Bugs". I will become a beautiful butterfly. I continue to ask for Divine Guidance and must be open to listen and to the changes that it brings.

With this said, I truly do wish to blog more often and always on a positive tip (even when I am venting).

To the mothers reading this: You are number one on your priority list. You are beautiful and you are mama (one of the hardest jobs on this planet).

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