It seems that recently I have been hit with news of friends "falling out". It just got me to thinking (with the two seconds I had free while I was peeling my son's boiled egg) of the balance of a friendship. Like a marriage or relationship, friendship also has its ups and downs. Sometimes we say things out of anger or the words we say to someone cut deep into their soul never to recover completely. In the words of my beautiful "comadre", sometimes people get busy with life and it's not that you forget, you just keep moving.
I wish I could give the advice to folks as to a hint when a friendship is over. Well a definite clue would be it they tell you to f**k off. That is truly a dead in the water friendship. Other times, you just leave it alone, give people space and examine the friendship. Ask yourself, does the good times out weigh the bad? Are there memories that bust your gut from laughter? Were they that shoulder you cried on, the one you told your secrets to, the one who held your hair back as you puked your guts out from too much bacardi and coke?
In my wise 44 years (damn, did I just confess that....hell yeah...I own it people), I have learned to value each friendship with wonderful lessons to be learned. I have friends that I don't talk to as often but when we do manage to get each other on the phone, it is non-stop laughter of life and love (hell yeah, Julia, Denise, Martha...I mean you). There are friends who I only see at our children's birthday parties, yet it takes us back to our college days (minus the hair holding and bacardi and coke). I even love my friends who I only talk to if I call them because again, life is busy. In essence, I am not ready to let go of these friendships so I cherish the beautiful memories and look forward to our next get togethers or 5 minute conversations on the phone.
So amigas and amigos....don't be too pissed off at what happened because I am sure the good list is far longer than the bad. But if the bad list is longer.... TONTOS...what were you thinking??