Tuesday, September 13, 2016

You Don't See Me

"You don't see me."

These words were spoken by a wife to her husband in a movie. When she said that, I had a wtf moment.  How uncomfortable did it make me because he was in the room watching the movie? Could he read my thoughts? Did he know those are the words spoken by the voices in my head?  Are those the voices in everyone's head?  Isn't that what people want. To be seen, acknowledged.  

In a world where we are connected, and I am not referring to technology - we crave a real connection. We want to be seen by our significant other, our children, our parents, our teachers/mentors, by friends and neighbors. When they see us, there is a validation "you matter, you're great, you are loved."  It is because of this connection that we seek true relationships.  That's why I fell in love with the movie Avatar. "I see you." This is why I love the Maori tradition of touching foreheads and noses. This is why I love true, long hugs not the pat on the back.

Here is what I also realize.  The most important validation of "I matter" is from myself. I matter enough to pursue my passions, I matter because I love who I am.  

Am I perfect? No. So what! I am enough.

Are you perfect? If not, so what!  Know that you are enough.

Monday, May 9, 2016

Musica Monday: Do you?

If you have not heard about LaTasha Lee & The BlackTies, listen NOW!

I had an opportunity to catch them live at The Mint a year ago.  They were the first of my 50 for 50. She and the band are great live. Her voice has a bit of that gritty sound that I love.

They have a new single, "Do you?"  If you don't, then maybe you should.

Mothers Day Sucks (sometimes)

One day of not needing anything.  One day of me not asking.

Instead we woke up late (by we, I mean me) to feeling anxious because I needed to make a salad before leaving to a Mothers Day brunch in Santa Paula.  Let me point out that all the moms are cooking for their own brunch, WTF!

When I get anxious, I get grouchy. When I get grouchy, an evil troll named Merva takes over.  Well she was pissed and didn't care about space.  She spat the words "I hate Mothers Day" to Maite who then went and told the others. What she should of said was "can you please hurry and get ready" or "can you make your own breakfast so I don't have to."  My oldest said I was mean.  Merva boiled and snarled "don't speak to me." The husband stayed silent because anything he could possibly say would be taken the wrong way.  Instead, Merva stared with laser eyes wondering how the hell could be just sit there and be quiet?

 I decided to drive because it was the only thing I could control.  The day got better and Merva went into hibernation.  Did I feel bad? Yes.  Have I apologized? Not yet.

All I wanted was a day where someone asked "what can we do to make your day easier?"  I wanted beds to be made, rooms to be clean, children and husband ready and fed. I wanted all this without me involved.

I wanted glitter!

Sunday, January 3, 2016

2016 Bring It!

I can't remember the last time I posted something...

It has been a crazy journey, much heartache because I lost my father to cancer.  After more than a year, the fog of sadness is lifting. This man, the first man I was in love with, that man that I would judge all others by was physically gone.  His story is not mine to tell but I can say he was a beautiful soul who loved his family with every fiber of his being.  I am not ready to share that part of my life either. Maybe one day...

This year I also buried one of our tribe.  We went to college together and this man 90% of the time had a smile on his face.  It came as a shock. How can this genuinely good guy have been taken from this earth?  Was it really his time?  Death is still sometimes hard to wrap your head around.

Why am I back?  I keep asking myself that.  I kept flopping back and forth on whether I wanted to breathe life back into I Used To Wear 3-Inch Heels.  What did I have to say?  Was it worth saying?  Maybe.  So I am back!  I will continue to give my views on life, praise the things, music, people I am wild about.  Should I complain (because isn't there enough of that in this world of ours?), it will always end with a positive spin.

So here we  are, 2016 the year of manifestation!  Open arms, open heart let the wind whisper in my ear and remind me to breathe.

This is dedicated to my niece Isabella Alamillo who sent me a message asking when would I start writing again.  Now Isabella! Now!

Monday, March 11, 2013

Musica Monday: Healing Earth, Healing Me

Beautiful people, for today's Musica Monday I have chosen Anugama "Healing Earth".  It is one of my favorite songs when I am doing bodywork.  Lately many thoughts of healing physically, emotionally and spiritually have been entering my mind, my heart and soul.

Enjoy and may you have a great week.


Healing Earth

Friday, February 22, 2013

Photo Friday - Foto Viernes

When life gives you lemons, make limonada!